A lot of people ask me
Where the fuck I've been at the last few years
Shit, I don't know
But I do know I'm back now
Haha
Here comes the rain and thunder now
Nowhere to run, to run to now
I disappeared, don't wonder how
Lookin' for me? I'm underground
Here comes the rain and thunder now
Nowhere to run, to run to now
I disappeared, don't wonder how
Lookin' for me? I'm underground
Dre, I'm down here, under the ground, dig me up!
Broken tibias, fibias, yeah, fix me up
Sixty sluts, all of them dyin' from asphyxia
After they sip piss through a Christopher Reeves sippy cup
Dixie cups, toxins, boxes of Oxy pads
Enough Oxycontin to send a fuckin' ox to rehab
Wack job in the back in a black stocking cap
Jackin' off to a hockey mask at a boxing match
(He can't say that!) Yes, he can
I just did, faggot, now guess again
Better text message your next-of-kin
Tell 'em shit's about to get extra messy
Especially when I flex again
And throw a fuckin' lesbian in wet cement
Faggoty, faggoty, faggoty! Raggedy Ann and Andy
No! Raggedy Andy and Andy
No, it can't be, it can't be—yes, it can be
The fuckin' Anti-Christ is back, Dante
It's Satan in black satin panties
This is Amityville, calamity, goddamn it
Insanity, pills, fanny pack filled with Xannies
Through every nook and cranny, lookin' for trannies
Milk and cookies spilled on my silk négligée, looky
Razor-ba-lades with me to make you ba-leed
Cases of Maybelline makeup lay on a table of weed
Slim Shady? Shit sounds like a fable to me
'Til he jumps out of the fuckin' toilet when you're takin' a pee
Here comes the rain and thunder now
Nowhere to run, to run to now
I disappeared, don't wonder how
Lookin' for me? I'm underground
Here comes the rain and thunder now
Nowhere to run, to run to now
I disappeared, don't wonder how
Lookin' for me? I'm underground
Six semen samples, seventeen strands of hair
Found in the back of a van after the shoot with Vanity Fair
Hannah Montana, prepare to elope with a can opener
And be cut open like cantaloupe on canopy beds
And Glad bags, yeah glad to be back
'Cause last year was a tragedy that landed me smack-dab in rehab
Fuckin' doctor, I ain't understand a damn word he said
I planned to relapse the second I walked out of that bitch
Two weeks in Brighton, I ain't enlightened
Bitin' into a fuckin' Vicodin like I'm a Viking
Oh, lightning is strikin', it might be a fuckin' sign I need a psychic
Evaluation, fuck Jason, it's Friday the 19th
That means it's just a regular day (Hah!)
And this is the kind of shit I think of regularly
Fuckin' lesbian shouldn't have had her legs in the way
Now she's pregnant and gay, missin' both legs and beggin' to stay
Here comes the rain and thunder now
Nowhere to run, to run to now
I disappeared, don't wonder how
Lookin' for me? I'm underground
Here comes the rain and thunder now
Nowhere to run, to run to now
I disappeared, don't wonder how
Lookin' for me? I'm underground
Tell the critics I'm back and I'm comin' to spit it back in abundance
Hit a fag with onions, then split a bag of Funyuns
Mad at me? Understandable, cannibal, shoot an animal
Out of a cannon and have 'em catapult at an adult
Captain of a cult with an elite following
To turn Halloween back into a trick-or-treat holiday
Have Michael Myers lookin' like a liar, swipe his powers
Replace his knife with flowers and a stack of fliers
Hit Jason Vorhees with a 40; stuck a suppository
Up his ass, and made him tell me a story
Gave Hannibal Lector a fuckin' nectarine
And sat him in the fuckin' fruit and vegetable section
And gave him a lecture
Walked up Elm Street with a fuckin' Wiffle bat drew
Fought Freddy Krueger and Edward Scissorhands too
And came out with a little scratch, ooh
Lookin' like I got in a fuckin' pillow fight with a Triple F.A.T. goose
Insanity, can it be vanity?
Where's the humanity in having a twisted fantasy
With an arm-and-leg amputee?
Straitjacket with a hundred and eight brackets
And a strap that wraps twice around my back
Then they latch it; cut your fuckin' head off
And ask where you're headed off to
Get it? "Headed off to?" Medic, this headache's awful!
This anesthetic's pathetic, so is this diabetic waffle
And this prosthetic arm keeps crushin' my hard taco
Here comes the rain and thunder now
Nowhere to run, to run to now
I disappeared, don't wonder how
Lookin' for me? I'm underground
Here comes the rain and thunder now
Nowhere to run, to run to now
I disappeared, don't wonder how
Lookin' for me? I'm underground
So, it wasn't a choice, it was "I had to do this"
And now I got 90 days clean
And uh, that's all I have to share, thanks
(Thanks for sharing, Brian
Is there anyone else who'd like to share this evening?)
Yeah, I got something to share:
"When you walked through the door you were queer to me
So come here, baby boy, just come here to me
You're a cock-boy, everybody wants you
You're gayer than you would ever claim to
I won't have to rape you
So, homie, lay down, down, down
Lay down, down, down
Lay down, down, down, lay down, lay down"
Where's everybody going?
This always went over real big in Gay-A
Okay, wait, I got another one
"I just love condoms and lots of cum"
No? Well, shit!